I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I looked at my own cervix.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
