i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
