Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
