she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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