If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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