A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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