i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
