Too much gin, very little bucket
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
