i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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