I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
