Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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