Christians are straight up FREAKS
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
