we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
