Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
