It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
