I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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