as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
