Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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