3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
