i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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