my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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