they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
