I hate your face
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
