I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
