I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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