My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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