Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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