But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
