I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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