Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
