the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
