Christians are straight up FREAKS
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
We left the knife in your bed.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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