i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
