I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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