There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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