so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
