There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
