So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
