I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
