Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
