His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
