My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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