Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize