Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
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