MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
