You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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