I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
