What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I have feelings that need drinking.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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