Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
