Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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