You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
