Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
