I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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