I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
